Justin Bieber, Beetlejuice, an ex girlfriends name, all of these are words someone’s screamed in the bedroom that’s caused things to come to a crashing halt. Even if you’re not into the BDSM scene it always a good idea to have a pre-communicated safe word just to be sure there is no confusion and no one takes things to far.
Words like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious may sound like a funny way to make sure you know they didn’t accidently say the safe word, but when you’re already out of breath that can be a lot to get out. You should also take your typical bedroom language into consideration, and any situation in which you are role playing, the dialog you would typically use. Something like “YES!” or “Ouch” would not be the wisest choices either.
Talking about a safe word also opens up the lines of communication so you and your partner can speak more freely about other desires you may have. It’s always easier to talk about fantasies and new positions you want to try when you both know that you have the ability to stop the act if it gets to uncomfortable.
A good suggestion to start with is picking something you both don’t enjoy like brussel sprouts, commercials, or something that definitely wouldn’t normally be said during sex. Picking something you both dislike is an easy way to make sure it registers a negative reaction is both of you. The color system works great for me. Red – stop everything right now, Yellow – don’t stop everything, but no more of that, and Green – would be for those moments where they get that sweet questioning look in their eyes wondering if you are OK but not asking to avoid ruining the moment. Just remember a safe word is meant to make things more comfortable, and enjoyable don’t over think it and have fun!
