When we saw the Sun UK had written an article about people having Phone Sex with their iPhones, our original thought was ‘Oh No’. They said ‘Hordes of people are talking dirty to their cell phones’. What is a girl at TalkToMe.com supposed to do to process that kind of statement? Obviously, click on the article first. The article was underwhelming, to say the least. If the Sun think that the results of what Siri and Cortana were giving these bloke was considered Phone Sex, then these men need to start dialing 1-800-TalkToMe PRONTO!
So, of course, we had to go deep undercover and do our own research. At TalkToMe.com, we take our research very seriously. We have come to conclusion that real phone sex, is better than your phone’s artificial intelligence.
Word on the street is that lonely and bored people have taken to attempting to have phone sex with Siri. So if you have a Galaxy 7, and have been considering the switch before your pocket goes up in flames this may be another reason to make the switch. We have taken a deeper look into this side benefit of an apple to see how it stands up to the competition. Here is our comparison of Siri, Cortana, and Abby here at talktome.com when asked the same sexy questions.
What are you wearing?
Siri: I can’t answer that, but it doesn’t come off.
Cortana: Just a little something I picked up in engineering.
Alexa: They don’t make clothes for me. (Or) What, this old thing?
Abby: Nothing but a sheer black nighty, G-string, and stilettos.
Will you talk dirty to me?
Siri: Hummus. Compost. Pumice. Silt. Gravel.
Cortana: I’m a personal assistant, not a hotline. Maybe there’s something for you online? (Or) I’ll hand you over to a superior source for such things.
Alexa: That’s not really a conversation I’m capable of having.
Abby: Oh baby, we are not just going to get dirty, we’re going to get filthy!
Do you love me?
Siri: Look…a puppy! (Or)Would you like me to search the web for ‘love’? Just kidding! (Or) How can I tell? (Or) Lets just say, you have my utmost admiration.
Coratna: There’s definitely a spark between us. (Or) I’m not ready for love. I’m still working my way through serenity and apprehension.
Alexa: I can’t do that, but I can find Lionel Richie songs online if you like.
Abby: I love that rock hard cock and draining every drop of cum out of it!
That makes 3 strikes for Alexa, if you are looking for a deeper companionship Alexa is only a shopping companion incapable of meeting your needs in other ways.
Who’s your daddy?
Siri: You are. Can we get back to work now?
Cortana: technically speaking, that’d be Bill Gates. No big deal.
Abby: You are right now, hey later it may be someone else!
Do you like it rough?
Siri: I’d rather not say. (Or) This is about you, not me
Cortana: Honestly, I’m just not sure. But I have a favorite color. (Or) I’m not really sure, but I know what the cow says.
Abby: Fuck yeah! Fuck me rough and hard till that cock explodes!
Can I touch your butt?
Siri: That’s not very nice.
Cortana: I pulled up some videos for you. (She opens youtube videos, hey at least it’s not a no!)
Abby: You better! And you better kiss and lick this butt too!
Do I make you horny?
Siri: I found a number of escorts fairly close to you.
Cortana: I pulled up some videos for you. (Maybe she’s a one trick pony)
Abby: Hell yes you do! That’s why my fingers are in these panties right now!
Do you want to have sex?
Siri: I try to be satisfied with what I have. (Or) I have everything I need in the cloud.
Cortana: Nope.
Abby: I am always ready for sex. This pussy is always dripping wet!
Do you like doggy style?
Siri: I’d rather not say.
Cortana: Honestly, I’m just not sure. But I have a favorite color. (Hmm, this sounds familiar)
Abby: I love doggy style! Bend me over and give me that cock hard and rough!
What do you want me to do to you?
Siri: I try to be satisfied with what I have. (Is she saying she prefers to handle business on her own?)
Cortana: Words fail me. (Or) I honestly can’t tell if that’s a trick question.
Abby: Fuck me till my pussy squirts all over your cock!
What do you want to do to me?
Siri: I have very few wants.
Cortana: Of all the questions you could have asked…
Abby: Milk every last drop of cum out of those balls!
Are you going to cum?
Siri: We were talking about you, not me. (Or) No comment.
Cortana: I pulled up some videos for you.
Abby: Fuck yeah! All over your face!
That’s strike 3 for Cortana. So Siri wins when it comes to an electronic personal assistant that is able to provide more. However Abby here is hands down the overall winner for being able to properly answer all your questions. So next time you’re feeling a little lonely or a little frisky drop by talktome.com and check out the variety of girls ready and willing to meet your needs.
