There are millions of sources out there with all sort of different tips and tricks to spice up your love life. But some of them are just a little too over the top. (We’re looking at you Cosmopolitan Magazine…) Anyways, we’ve made a list of a few of their sex tips we think you should avoid…at all costs…
1. The Donut Cockring
Do not do this! There is just so much wrong here I’m not even sure where to begin. No one wants crumbs all over their balls or bed. Try using a bit of caramel instead; same texture and sweet taste without the crumbs, or chewing, or his anxiety that you may accidentally bite him instead.
2. Volley For Black And Blue Balls
“Hold his penis in one hand and lightly slap it with the other… you can tap it back and forth like you’re volleying a tennis ball and lightly pinch the skin on his shaft and testicles. Many women make the mistake of being too gentle…Take his shaft between your open palms and tap it back and forth, almost like you’re volleying a tennis ball. The quick movements are a fun way to wake up his nerves.”
Please, for the love of penises everywhere, do not treat his cock like a tennis ball. I understand wanting to try something new, and a little BDSM can be fun, but unless he expressly asks for it, you’re better off not trying to spike his balls or slap his cock around like it owes you money.
3. Eye Contact
“Receive a butterfly kiss… on your breasts. To do: he bats his eyelids against the super sensitive underside of your breasts.”
I love breasts as much as anyone, but this takes getting an eye full to a whole new level. I mean…boob sweat in your eye. Come on, that sounds about as attractive as just spitting in their eye! I don’t care how sensitive your under boob is, I doubt you’ll feel any of those “kisses.” Man up and use your damn mouth, boys! You’ll avoid a really awkward experience all around.
Have you ever gotten any crazy or just down right wrong sex tips? Let us know in the comments!
