Forget the idea that an orgasm has to be one quick explosion followed by, “Well, that was fun.” For some men and women, pleasure can become something much bigger a slow-building wave that seems to travel from head to toe, leaving the entire body buzzing, trembling, warm, relaxed, and wonderfully overwhelmed.
That experience is often called a full-body orgasm, and the interesting part is that getting there may require doing the exact opposite of what many people do during sex: stop rushing toward the finish line.
Great sex loves anticipation.
When you’re racing toward orgasm, all of your attention can become concentrated on one destination. Instead, experiment with letting arousal simmer. Kiss longer. Touch more slowly. Explore the neck, shoulders, back, chest, stomach, thighs and other places that normally get ignored once things become heated.
Think of it as turning up the temperature one degree at a time instead of immediately throwing yourself into the fire.
Breathing can make an unexpectedly big difference. People often hold their breath and tense their entire body as pleasure becomes intense. Try doing the opposite. Keep breathing deeply and steadily while allowing your muscles to soften. Notice where pleasure seems to travel rather than concentrating exclusively on one sensation.
And don’t underestimate your brain. The sexiest organ you’ve got is sitting between your ears.
Anticipation, fantasy, feeling desired and knowing your partner is completely focused on you can intensify physical sensations enormously. Sometimes a whisper, a look or simply knowing what’s coming next can create more electricity than immediately jumping into physical stimulation.
For women, allowing arousal plenty of time to build can make sensations feel deeper and more expansive. There’s no requirement to race toward orgasm or immediately stop after one. Remaining relaxed, connected and receptive to whatever feels pleasurable can sometimes allow those sensations to linger or return in waves.
Men can benefit enormously from slowing things down too. Instead of treating arousal like a countdown to ejaculation, explore the different levels of excitement leading up to it. Pay attention to breathing, muscle tension and sensations throughout the body. Learning your own arousal patterns can transform sex from a sprint into something considerably more interesting.
For everyone, pelvic-floor awareness can play a role as well. Those muscles naturally participate in orgasm, but endless clenching isn’t the goal. Being able to gently engage them and then completely relax them can help you become more aware of how sexual tension moves through your body.
With a partner, make communication sexy rather than clinical. Tell them when something feels incredible. Let them know when you want them to slow down. Ask them not to change what they’re doing when they’ve found exactly the right rhythm. A little direction doesn’t ruin the mood it can make the mood considerably hotter.
And here’s perhaps the most important secret stop demanding that your body perform.
A full-body orgasm isn’t a sexual trophy. You can’t order your nervous system to produce one on command, and trying desperately to make it happen can create exactly the tension that gets in the way.
Instead, make the entire encounter delicious.
Take your time. Build anticipation. Breathe. Explore. Tease. Laugh. Relax. Stay present. Let pleasure spread wherever it wants to spread.
Because sometimes the hottest sex happens when you stop asking, “When am I going to come?” and start thinking, “I don’t want this feeling to end.”
And when your entire body gets invited to the party, the finale might surprise you.
